How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
