Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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