The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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