i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
