I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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