Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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