Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
