he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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