dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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