he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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