I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
