my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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