I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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