I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
