I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
