Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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