I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
