I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she peed on how many people?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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