so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
