is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
