you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
