I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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