Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
