my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
