Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just cut my nipple shaving
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
