tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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