i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
