We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
