So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish I only lived at night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
