Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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