Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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