You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
