I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
