I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
