Whod you bang
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
