they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
