Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
