Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
