so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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