Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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