Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize