Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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