The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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