Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
