Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
you're hired as official boob wrangler
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
