What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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