You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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