Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
