I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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