My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
