As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
