im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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