just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
