But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
