I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
