well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
