Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
