he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
