She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i drank out of a bidet.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
