dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
