You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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