I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
