Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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