so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
