My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
