I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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