She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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